Listening for the Pattern

Dear Reader,

There are ways of listening that don’t come naturally—
not because we’re unwilling,
but because we were never shown how.

We were taught to chase clarity.
To narrate a self that sounds whole.
To prove coherence, even when we’re in the middle of breaking or becoming.

So we rush.
We wrap things up too soon.
We reach for language that feels solid,
when what’s needed is something more spacious.
More honest.
More unfinished.

What Is a Pattern?

A pattern isn’t just repetition.
It’s the rhythm of meaning—woven through what we say, how we say it,
and what we leave out.

It’s the structure underneath the story.
The scaffolding that shaped our speech long before we could choose it.

You can hear it in the way we hedge.
The metaphors we default to.
The silences we preserve.

Sometimes, a story sounds right because it's familiar.
Not because it's true.

Why We Don’t See It

We’re too close.
The story has become atmosphere—
so constant we forget it's made of choices.
Tonal habits.
Inherited scripts.
Internal editors trained to keep the self palatable, presentable, productive.

This is not a failure.
It’s a form of protection.
But it can also become a cage.

What Listening Makes Possible

To listen for the pattern is to listen beyond what’s said.
To hold space for what has not yet found its form.
To pause before the tidy conclusion,
and wonder what’s still becoming.

The feeling of “I’ve got it!”
followed by the inevitable
“I’ve lost it…”—
this too is part of the pattern.

Unfinished is not a flaw.
It’s a clue.
It’s the exact place where something real wants to emerge.

This is the kind of listening I practice.
And offer.
Not to fix your story,
but to help you hear it differently.

Let this be a beginning.

Tamra